May 2011
1 post
What a fucking boss
April 2011
4 posts
A Good Day
After a week of stress, lethargy, and general not-awesomeness, I somehow found (in the midst of finals no less) a good day.
I got a 96% on my research paper for my Psych 428. YEAH THAT’S RIGHT, A 400-LVL CLASS.
My short story was really well received in my Creative Writing class. Everyone laughed at the right parts and thought my idea was fun and evocative.
My 10 pg American Lit...
The Human Animal
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7364117469621223460#
March 2011
1 post
Cucumbers
Rinsing off a cucumber in the shared kitchen upstairs: People think you’re a normal person who eats cucumbers.
Rinsing off a cucumber in the bathroom sink because it’s right across the hall from you: People look at you like you are rinsing off your cucumber dildo.
Lesson learned: LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION!
February 2011
3 posts
I am such a pussy
I get a B on my super hard midterm and get depressed. My short story received some negative criticism in class and I get upset with myself. A dickish prospect berates me over the phone at work and I want to punch him. My roommate keeps humming Cee Lo Green under her breath and I feel like screaming. I have a midterm tomorrow and I’m stressing the fuck out. </WhiteGirlProblems>
January 2011
13 posts
barebackobama asked: Girl let's go real soon. I ran into girrian at Disney yesterday.
Anyone else remember that little rhyme from...
Dot dot, line line,
Spiders crawling up your spine,
Crack an egg on your head feel the yolk running down,
Crack an egg on your head feel the yolk running down.
Tight squeeze!
Cooool breeze.
NOW YOU’VE GOT THE SHIVERIES.
I loved that shit.
“I used to be really scared about marriage. I was like, ‘Wow. 50% of all...”
– Joe Wong
December 2010
23 posts
ily, hark! a vagrant.
Oh my God, Love Actually. FUUUUCK why do you make me cry so much every year?
I’M AN EMOTIONAL WRECK RIGHT NOW.
The Bataillan Sun
The sun is rising, leaking into my room.
I haven’t slept at all tonight. I’ve been reading and writing notes in Heidegger’s Being and Time. Sigh.
Everyone else is asleep. My final is at 8:30.
WELP I GUESS IT’S TIME TO SHOWER.
A nice text to send to your boyfriend:
I’ve been lying in bed for an hour but I can’t fall asleep. Finals week sucks… I miss you so much.
A terrible text to send to your boyfriend:
I’ve been lying
** ACCIDENTAL SEND**
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Have you met my little friend?
her name is VUVLASAUR.
OHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIT
That was frightening. I was shooting off a quick letter to my Professor and as my fingers flitted across my keyboard, I almost ended the email with
Thanks so much,
Moniquey
DELETE DELETE DELETE
Monique
THAT ONE Y COULD HAVE BEEN THE DEATH OF ME. Embarrassment avoided. I feel so relieved.
I was thinking that my best friends are pretty...
These are my other friends:
THE TRUTH REVEALED
Professor: Heraclitus says the soul is the person. He’s also a flux man… he says hot is cold, yes is no…”
Me: “whaaaaaa HERACLITUS IS KATY PERRY!!”
Katy Perry = Secret Philosopher
Sitting in bed.
Watching the documentary Babies.
Sipping on a glass of white wine.
I think I am secretly middle aged.
Nietzsche the PIMP
“I believe, as Nietzsche once said, ‘Beat your woman every night. You won’t know why, but she will.” — Professor Stocking
HELL YES PHILOSOPHY
November 2010
15 posts
Hogwarts Dream by Harry Potter
So yeah I might have revamped a few pop songs to be about Hogwarts last night…. I might start posting them. The first one is Katy Perry’s Teenage Dream but it’s about Harry pleading for Voldemort’s love.
—-
You think I’m pretty without any dress robes on
You think I’m funny when I transfigure my teacup wrong
I know you get me, so I’ll let my walls come down,...